


Paying

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-31
Updated: 2006-12-31
Packaged: 2019-01-19 15:11:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12412704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Regarding Lily and the Marauders Seventh Year, and the beginning of Peter's change to the "Dark Side".  One shot, old challenge entry.





	Paying

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

**Author's Note:** Er...Well, this is ~~an old entry for a challenge~~ a story I've been working on for - oh.  Well.  You probably don't want to know, it's been so long.  The first piece of fiction I've posted on this site, so Hurrah, I suppose.

**Paying**

****

James Potter, for one of the first times in his Hogwarts career, did not wake to a splash of water, nor did he wake to a pillow fight (where the feathers sprayed everywhere).  No, instead, James awoke to very little noise, and a tentative shaking of his shoulder.  His hair obscured his blurry vision for a moment until he simultaneously placed his glasses awkwardly on his nose and raked back his hair with his hands.

“Oh, hey Peter.”  James spoke to the boy who stood over him.  

“Hi James.  The others went on to breakfast, but asked me to wake you up.  I told them they should go ahead…Is that all right?”  Peter’s eyes glazed over uncertainly.

James flashed him a grin.  “Yeah, that’s fine, as long as you don’t mind waiting a bit.”

Peter nodded, showing a hint of a smile himself, and stood outside the bathroom while James dressed and considered combing his hair.  He instead settled for flattening it with both hands.  

\---

At the Gryffindor table, Lily Evans and Marlene McKinnon sat together, Lily with porridge and the _Daily Prophet_ gripped tightly in a hand, Marlene with a slice of toast and eyes that glanced over Lily’s shoulder at the paper every now and again.  Across from the two girls sat Remus Lupin and Sirius Black.  Remus, similar to Marlene, read the back of the news, while Sirius glared down at his breakfast.  James, coming into the Great Hall, raised an inquiring eyebrow at the entire scene before sitting next to Lily and pulling the plate of bacon towards himself.  Peter ignored everything but the prospect of breakfast.

James sat down and made a disgusted noise at the front page of the _Prophet._

Lily turned.  “Oh, it’s you.  I thought you abhorred the _Prophet_?”

“I do.  It’s simply a matter of keeping up with what they’re saying.”  James shrugged.  “It’s worth reading it,” he said, indicating the paper she held, “over nothing.”

“Do you believe anything they’re saying?”  Lily asked, shifting to look at him.

“I’m not sure.  I don’t know what to believe as mere gossip, and which families are actually being attacked.  I prefer to depend on the owls,” James answered as the horde flew down on them.

Lily pursed her lips, though she nodded in agreement before turning back to her paper.  

James, in his turn, looked back to his bacon for a moment.  At the beginning of the Seventh year, he promised himself not only would he no longer chase after Lily, but he would try to befriend her, for the sake of befriending her.  She accepted his friendship with very little question, clearly relieved to put their former enmity behind them.  

Turning to face her again, he asked, “Does it mention attacks?”

Sirius, by this time, had stopped glaring, and had tuned in to the conversation.  “Why ask the paper?  All you need to do is check out the Slytherin table and know exactly what’s toward.”  

Remus rolled his eyes.  “Yes.  It talks about them on the back page.  Apparently the Dark Lord issued what’s being called the “Unforgivable Law”.  Anyone with half a mind can figure out the slough of problems we’re going to encounter next.”

Lily glared at the paper.  “Oh yes, and guess what else?  Crouch is haranguing the Minister to legalize the Unforgiveables on our side as well.  Crouch’s usual ‘Crush them like a bug’ strategy, and all that.”

For the first time, Peter looked up from his breakfast.  “Well, that’s not so surprising, is it?  Ministry officials use the Unforgivables.  No one’s ever expressed a problem with those.  I’m sure the Aurors will be pleased – it’s only fair. To fight fire with fire, that is.

Five incredulous voices shouted “NO!” and the Marauders looked at Peter as though he’d lost his mind.

“Well, I don’t see the problem.”  He answered, looking confused.

Lily shot an irritable look at Peter. “The obvious problem, Peter, is the way Ministry officials choose to use those curses, as opposed to the way Voldemort’s supporters will use them.  For example.  I’m a witch, but my family’s Muggle, obviously.  If Voldemort chooses to attack my family to send a message to me, well, he’s going to use Unforgivables, torture a family that can’t protect itself.  But the Ministry, meanwhile, keeps the Unforgivable Curses well under control.  Only the elite Aurors are authorized to use them right now.”

“Oh.  Well.  You needn’t be patronizing.”  Peter said.

Lily looked heavenward, and answered tersely that she wasn’t being patronizing, merely realistic based on her beliefs.

“Oh yes,” sneered a voice from above.  “I can imagine that it’s all based on your disgusting family.  Those poor Muggles – you ought to hear them scream when the Cruciatus hits them.  You could hear it all the way here, if you cared to listen.  But I suggest you continue to read the news.  Events are being set in motion.  Things will be different, my cheerful pack of Bravehearts.”  Bellatrix Black smiled, cruelly.

Lily stood, her face flushed.  “I imagine dear old Rodolphus licks the blood off your hands at night, does he?  Mustn’t soil the bedclothes, _dear_ , with the blood of filth.  But you’re just doing your duty, aren’t you?  Following orders?  You like that blood Bellatrix.  You adore your master with sickening devotion.  Oh yes, I know,” Lily answered just as cruelly.

“Keep your disgusting mouth off Rodolphus.  You aren’t fit to lick the ground he walks on, you vile piece of shit,” Bellatrix hissed.

“Oh, I’m vile?  My boyfriend doesn’t go around _raping_ defenseless _women_ and claim he’s got a cause,” Lily gripped her wand, her knuckles white.

Bellatrix sneered, and tightened her grip on her wand.  “Savage, are we?  Angry?  The Dark Lord always knows a weakness.”  She paused, then brought her mouth to Lily’s ear.  “You’ll keep that pretty mouth shut, Evans, if you want to live to marry your piece of Pureblood filth,” she smiled again, jerking her chin at James.  She waved a hand at the table and grinned nastily at Lily before sauntering off.

James judged it was time to go to class, gripping Lily around the elbow and dragging her still hissing out of the Great Hall.  Peter continued to shift things on his plate silently long after the others left.  

\---

Classes that day went poorly.  No teachers approached Lily or Bellatrix about the scene at the Gryffindor table.  Lily scowled through Transfiguration – she believed that as Head Girl, she deserved a stern telling-off from her Head of House, and received none.

“They’re all so terrified of the inter-house rivalry, they won’t touch it with a ten foot pole,” She spat as they left class.  “I think it’s disgusting.  People are so _weak_.  They refuse to take a side until it’s too late, and when they finally take a side, everything’s been blown to smithereens, so there isn’t a point!  I hate this!  I hate that fucking Bellatrix Black gets to me every time I talk to her.  I hate her!” Lily exploded.  “I’ve never hated anyone so much in my life, and I just can’t abide that despicable woman!  She’s just so – cruel, and evil, and everything about her oozes filth.  **I’m** filth?  She _bathes_ in filth.”  Lily’s face flushed as her tone echoed off the walls.

James listened patiently to Lily as she continued mumble and rant under her breath and finally stopped her.  “I think you forgot to breathe.”

“Oh, I know it.  Don’t I know it.”

\---

Day turned to night in a haze of red.  Dinner consumed and Quidditch finished, James stood under the showerhead waiting to feel clean again.  Despite nearly half an hour in the shower, the mud clung to his skin, and he began to wonder if Hogwarts mud possessed an endearing quality.  

When the hot water ran out, he really began to wonder.  

But eventually, all the mud came off, like insults, sliding off his body.  Dressing and tooth brushing came last before he departed in jeans and a t-shirt for patrol with Lily.  He meant explain the nuances of Peter, if Lily would listen.

As he expected, she sat in the Common Room, her nose stuck in a Muggle novel.  Her head poked its way back into the world as his dorm door closed.  Her reading glasses left marks in her nose after she took them off and stuffed them in her jeans pocket, before standing to walk out with him.  They patrolled silently for a while – all the way through the classroom hallways, through the dungeons, and back up to check the grounds.  Then, James broke the silence, for Lily talked, and listened more freely outside.

Under a willow tree, they finally stopped, and James sat, looking out at the lake.  “You know, Peter doesn’t seem like a sensitive guy, but he really is.”

Lily waited for an explanation.

“No, he really is.  He picks up on little things, like tone of voice, body language – the type of thing a timid kid notices.  He’s always been quiet and sort of afraid.  He…finds comfort in being accepted.  No one can blame him for that.  All of us take some comfort in being accepted.  He’s less timid if he’s accepted,” James explained.

Lily shook her head.  “Fine.  But that doesn’t explain that question this morning.”

James nodded in acquiescence.  “No.  But he’s a quiet kid.  Sirius and I are always the ones setting off the fireworks, planning the pranks.  Peter just goes along.  He knows we’ll accept him, because otherwise, we would have left him behind years ago.  He’s accepted among us, but not among his peers.  You for example: You have all the insights into the Muggle world that he doesn’t have.  You have a temper, and such impatience.  You give Peter the time of day because he’s with us.  Otherwise, you’d never notice him.  He’s timid because you wouldn’t notice him otherwise.”

“And this is relevant how?”

“Lily!” James raked his hands through his hair.  “Have you gone stupid?  He sees some sort of opportunity for people for himself to lose that timidity.  If the Ministry will legalizes the use of the Unforgivables to the rest of the Aurors, Peter will have some sort of defense.  He won’t be timid because the power will be there for him to use.”

“But the Ministry allow those curses to be used by normal-level Aurors!  Think, James!  The Death Eaters have spies in the Auror forces, you can be sure.  If the Ministry lawfully allows the Unforgivables, those Death Eaters will never be charged with anything illegal.”

“I know.   But there are still some who believe the Unforgivables are the only way to fight the Death Eaters.  Take Crouch, for instance.  He believes that the Death Eaters are inhuman – therefore, the use of the Unforgivables can be acceptable.  

Lily nodded her head, just slightly.  “And Peter?”

James continued.  “He can hide behind the shield of those curses, if he makes Auror.  He won’t need the timidity.  I think if he felt even an ounce smarter, like he could keep up with Remus and I, or even Sirius, he wouldn’t feel as timid.  But as I said – Peter lacks confidence.  He always has.  You don’t need confidence with the Unforgivable Curses – just drive to perform them.  He’s also – shocked that you can and will stand up to Bellatrix.  To him, Bellatrix is something to be afraid of – that’s another place his timidity comes out.  She’s a force to be endured, for him.  For you, she’s everything to stand against.”

“I can’t help being angry,” Lily said, dark hair hiding her face.  “I don’t hate him, and I don’t want to overlook him, but I can’t agree that it’s fair for the Ministry to allow those curses.  Bellatrix is just the tip of the iceberg, though admittedly, she gets under my skin,” Lily said.  James quirked a smile.  “My problem with Peter’s comment does have to do with my upbringing.  I’m worried that more Muggles will get hurt, and it’s not just going to be the bad guys anymore. It’s going to be the good guys, too, who accidentally miss with a fatal curse, and what’s worse, it’ll be _lawful_.”

“I won’t tell you that he doesn’t deserve your anger.  I know it’s not your fault.  You can’t change the way you feel anymore than he can,” James commented.  

Lily sighed and leaned into him, watching the final rays of sun fade.

\---

Peter sat quietly up in the Gryffindor common room, puzzling through an Arithmancy text.  Only half his brain considered the text – the rest of his mind sat heavily on the events of the autumn.  James and Lily were friends – if Sirius and Remus were right, they were well on their way to something different.  Sirius, though less consumed with anger at his heritage than previous times, continued to slight the Slytherins at any time.  Remus had worry lines etched into his face now – Voldemort recruited werewolves daily now, preying on the Wizarding community’s worst fears.

And Peter continued to try to complete his homework to the best of his ability.  His thoughts changed to the conversation at breakfast that morning, and his brow furrowed.  Lily’s scorn angered him, made him feel patronized, condescended to.  He despised scorn.  That emotion was written on his mother’s face every time he came home for the Holidays.

And thinking, he heard more scorn in everyone’s voices, now.  It seemed as though he were the only one without a brain.  But really, what was the problem with the legalization of the Unforgivable curses?  If he were an Auror, he’d be chafing at the bit to use them.  The Death Eaters scared him.

And Lily’s Muggle views – well, if they couldn’t defend themselves, they should let the Wizards handle it.  He didn’t stomp around on _her_ views, what right did she have to tread on his?  And why did Sirius look at him with agonizing patience every time he spoke?  He either genuinely felt confused, or simply had different viewpoints.  Remus and James quietly stayed out of these spats, rather then get into them, as they might have.

Really.  What had changed?

He was allowed to have an opinion too. 

_Well, a rat always knows when he’s in with weasels_

_Here you lose a little every day._

_Well, I remember when a million was a million_

_They all have ways to make you pay._

                -Tom Waits 


End file.
